How the World Was Really Created.

One day, Me and God were sitting around drinking some Bud and watching the game while God was supposed to be studying.

God says, "If I don't come up with a killer project that's due at the end of the semester, I'm going to fail Biology."

I says to God, "Fuck school. No body ever learned any thing at fucking school."

God says to me, "Well I don't know my parents, and if I fail this Biology project I won't get into a good college and no one will ever take me seriously."

At this point, the piles of cans of beers surrounded us like fucking groupies backstage at a fucking Guns N' Roses show or some shit. I was fucking loaded. God was the goody two shoes type (and a total light weight I should add) so to take his mind off of things, I got out the beer bong and poured lots and lots of beer into it. It was too much for God, so he barfed up the gas station nachos and beef jerky that he had consumed earlier that day, and thus the earth was created.

And God said, "I'm never going to drink again."

So in reality, it was me that created the earth. If I hadn't of pressured God into drinking so much that he barfed, you assholes wouldn't be here today.



Disclaimer: This didn't actually happen, so before you get all pissy and offended, you up tight Christian assholes, God isn't a registered trademark. I know you conservative types like to make your monies, but you can't sue me so nyeh nyeh nyeh nyeh. Why don't you go on T.V. and demand money from people in the name of God so you can buy your 200 acre mansion and your 50th Mercedes Benz.

However, if you think that this IS real, I do take donations. Sucker.